New and Old

Today is a beautiful day. The sun was out and everything seemed to flow wonderfully. For the last few weeks I have felt a bit down. Some would say that is normal, and I quess I am learning to live with my new moods. Recently Karen(wife) made a statement that I am a different person. The fact is that I am a brand new person. My old life was filled with hyperactivity, buzzing around, and never slowing down.
My new life because of Bipolar is quite the opposite. I am slow to speak, slow in doing things, and moving very slow as I contemplate life with new eyes. Karen says that I am now very organized. I really need structure to keep my life in order. I find myself even thinking slow thoughts. Life is different, and I am getting used to this new way of living.
In my old life, I lived for me, and for today. In my new life, I am living for others, and for the future. Life is good, and life will get better to those who wait on the Lord. Have great week, and be blessed, Van

Harmony

In musical terms harmony is a state of pure joy to the ear. The music flows from the singer or instrument in melodies that bring happiness to the hearer. I have played the trumpet for over 44 years. I enjoy playing songs that make people stop and listen. On the contrary when someone sings out of tune, or an instrument plays and squeaks, you can see people just cringe .
So it is in life. You can choose to walk in harmony with your fellow man, or you can choose to have a bitter attitude causing those around you to feel bad feelings inside. Harmony is a state of complete peace, where those around you feel your peace. They can also sense disharmony, and will try to stay away from discord.
In my early years I was a lot more aggressive and found myself hurting people who were trying to help me. Today with Bipolar I am very mellow, and will try to keep peace with everyone. Harmony is not easy. You have to work at getting along with those who are different from you. I have changed so much today.My main goal is to be in harmony with God. If that will be accomplished then I can walk in harmony with many people that I come in contact with.Be Blessed and try to walk in harmony with those who you meet.

Van Heslop Yesterday and Today

Publish Post

Moods

Today I would like to talk about long term mood disorders . Where as a person has a good mood or a bad mood, I tend as a person who has Bipolar illness to have periods of depression and mania.This is what is now termed Bipolar Disorder or major mood disorders. It was formally called Manic depression in which a person has both periods of depression and mania.

Bipolar disorders- from Wikipedia free encylopedia

• Bipolar disorder (BD), a mood disorder formerly known as "manic depression" and described by alternating periods of mania and depression (and in some cases rapid cycling, mixed states, and psychotic symptoms). Subtypes include:

• Bipolar I is distinguished by the presence or history of one or more manic episodes or mixed episodes with or without major depressive episodes. A depressive episode is not required for the diagnosis of Bipolar I disorder, but depressive episodes are often part of the course of the illness.
• Bipolar II consisting of recurrent intermittent hypomanic and depressive episodes.
• Cyclothymia is a milder form of bipolar disorder, consisting of recurrent hypomanic and dysthymic episodes, but no full manic episodes or full major depressive episodes.
• Bipolar Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (BD-NOS), sometimes called "sub-threshold" bipolar, indicates that the patient suffers from some symptoms in the bipolar spectrum (e.g. manic and depressive symptoms) but does not fully qualify for any of the three formal bipolar DSM-IV diagnoses mentioned above.

It is estimated that roughly one percent of the adult population suffers from bipolar I, roughly one percent of the adult population suffers from bipolar II or cyclothymia, and somewhere between two and five percent suffer from "sub-threshold" forms of bipolar disorder.

I am classified with Bipolar 1. I have had a major manic episode, with smaller depressive episodes. Now, off to the races, as I want to share some very important news. I am stable today only because I make right choices. I choose to go to my two doctors. I choose to take my meds everyday. I choose to listen to those in my life who love me. I have mood swings, but I choose to walk in victory. At age 50 I was diagnosed with BPD ( Bipolar Disorder). Mad, yes I was very mad. I think I went into denial. Today I have accepted my illness, and am doing so much better.
I still have periods in which I can't get motivated, but for the most part I am a happy camper.
In September I turn 54, and I am looking forward to many more good years.Be Blessed, Van

onions

My life is like an onion in that there are many layers. On the outside it always looks like everything is going wonderful. On the inside there are blemishes and scares that need to be healed. One layer is one of foolish pride. I sometimes hold pride inside my heart, and find myself doing things that are not of the Lord.
Secondly, there is a layer of guilt that holds me back from doing what God wishes for me to do. Guilt is a plan from the devil that holds me in a trap. I feel so bad inside that I can't move on.

Thirdly, there is a layer of anger." Everyone should be slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires"James 1:19,20.
Anger is a layer that can go deep in side a persons heart.
The bible has a lot say about layers inside your heart. First, ask God to forgive you of all of your layers. Next, walk in forgiveness, and lastly possess a grateful heart, always giving thanks. I am constantly asking God to take away my layers, and I know that He will. Be Blessed.

Surviving to Thriving

A good friend of mine recently said that I should be thriving instead of surviving. Actually this was my therapist. She has a way to motivate me. I have some great days and I have some really down days. She stated that as a person with Bipolar I would have many bad days, and that this would be normal for me. I have thought a lot about this and since then it has helped me a lot.
I believe that I can overcome the many obstacles in my life by thinking positive. This year I have made major growth changes in my mental health. I stay on a very good schedule, and have learned to be more flexible. Life can bring me many hard things, and I sometimes do not handle them well. Recently, I am making a new resolution to win no matter what comes my way.
I am thriving in life, and wish to be the best person that I can be. Today is a great day, and I can say that my mind is getting free from the darkness that once hindered me.The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Prov 18:12. I believe that I am doing better because of the help around me. I know that I need help, and those around me make sure that I will stay stable in my illness. Special thanks to Karen, my wife who is also my best friend. Thanks to my psychiatrist, and my therapist who are angels. We leave for North Carolina tomorrow. This is therapy for our family. Have a great weekend, Love, Van

Brand new days ahead!

Most of you know that last year was a struggle for the Heslop family. Bipolar Illness can be a major challenge. I went to the hospital and had my meds adjusted. We had to cancel a wonderful trip to Oregon, and many other vacations that were planned. My wife was needless to say worn out by the whole year.
This year started out different. We took trips to Maryland to visit our grandchildren every few months. Aliza and Josiah are growing so fast. I went to my doctors appointments faithfully, and took my meds right on time. In April we went to Williamsburg Va, and had a wonderful time. On June 8th I celebrated my 10th year anniversary at Covenant Baptist church for employment.
In July, we went to Williamsburg, Va, and then to the Eastern Shore of Maryland, where we had a family reunion with many of my wife's relatives from the west coast. This leads me up to our present vacation where we are going to North Carolina.
What a difference one year can make. Karen and I are having a great summer. We are sharing our lives together. I am stable and am responding to her love. We have a few more vacations planned for the fall, and look forward to seeing some new sites such as Alexandria Va. and back again to Williamsburg, Va. for the lighting of the trees. Be blessed.

Our Arbour

We have been working very hard on our back yard to make it look nice, so here it is.