Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happy New Year
Well ,can you believe that in 6 hours we will be saying 2010.I wish to say Happy New Year. Be blessed more than ever as you desire to help people find there happiness in Christ.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Snow
December 19th, 2009 we were hit with 20 inches of snow. It was the largest storm for many years.
Our family stayed in for two days. Federal Government closed, schools, and most businesses.It was the most beautiful snow I have seen in a long time. This is Christmas week. By now we have prepared all of our goodies, wrapped the presents to go under the tree, and are prepared for family to arrive. Oh, How I love the sights, sounds and smells of the season. My wife's family ( Freed's) Christmas in Pennsylvania was canceled because of the storm. Our son , wife, and two grandchildren are coming on Saturday. It is always fun watching the grandchildren opening their presents from us. We bought some extra special food for when they come.I am so tired of turkey. In closing, let us take time to honor Jesus, as this is his birthday. O, come let us adore him, Jesus the Lord. Merry Christmas.
Our family stayed in for two days. Federal Government closed, schools, and most businesses.It was the most beautiful snow I have seen in a long time. This is Christmas week. By now we have prepared all of our goodies, wrapped the presents to go under the tree, and are prepared for family to arrive. Oh, How I love the sights, sounds and smells of the season. My wife's family ( Freed's) Christmas in Pennsylvania was canceled because of the storm. Our son , wife, and two grandchildren are coming on Saturday. It is always fun watching the grandchildren opening their presents from us. We bought some extra special food for when they come.I am so tired of turkey. In closing, let us take time to honor Jesus, as this is his birthday. O, come let us adore him, Jesus the Lord. Merry Christmas.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Better Days
Today is a new day and I am feeling great. 2009 has been a good year. I will no longer complain, and grumble about things that I cannot change. Life is what you make it. Proverbs says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. I now realize that at times life comes at you with full force and tries to steal your joy and peace. It is up to me to choose life and to make positive moves.
I love Christmas because it is all about Jesus. We have pared down our gifts and started to spend more time with family. Christmas should bring hope , peace, and joy to your family this year. I get too lazy to write Christmas cards, and I am putting up less lights each year. I am enjoying my family more. So try to relax and find true meaning of this season. Have a blessed Christmas, and pray for a white one too. We love each of you, Van
I love Christmas because it is all about Jesus. We have pared down our gifts and started to spend more time with family. Christmas should bring hope , peace, and joy to your family this year. I get too lazy to write Christmas cards, and I am putting up less lights each year. I am enjoying my family more. So try to relax and find true meaning of this season. Have a blessed Christmas, and pray for a white one too. We love each of you, Van
Friday, December 4, 2009
In Williamsburg
Life is so good! We are in Williamsburg, Virginia for a few days. The sites and sounds are awesome. The old town is lit with gas lamps, and tiny lights all over. Remember that all this is a type of the Christ Child as he was born in a manger for you and I. I love this season, and I will never forget my first Christmas after accepting Jesus. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. So bring on the snow, and festivities, and let's have a great time. Blessings, Van
Monday, November 23, 2009
Your Choice
This is thanksgiving week. Families scurry to cook massive meals, watch football, then eat pumpkin pie, then take a nap, then eat leftovers.Oh, I forgot the deer hunters . I am guilty of the same. It seems like the USA just shuts down to come together and to say thanks for another year on bounty. I simply wish to thank all of my friends and family this year.
This last year was extremely hard on my family, but we made it through. So thank you Karen for standing by me. You are such a ray of light to me. I owe my life to you. To all of my friends on facebook, and this blog, thanks for the many notes of encouragement. Fiends are worth a million dollars to me.
Please take time to call a loved one, a friend or someone in your life. Your choice can be one of gratitude, or one of grumpiness. I choose to be thankful. Have a blessed Thanksgiving, Van
This last year was extremely hard on my family, but we made it through. So thank you Karen for standing by me. You are such a ray of light to me. I owe my life to you. To all of my friends on facebook, and this blog, thanks for the many notes of encouragement. Fiends are worth a million dollars to me.
Please take time to call a loved one, a friend or someone in your life. Your choice can be one of gratitude, or one of grumpiness. I choose to be thankful. Have a blessed Thanksgiving, Van
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
When Life stinks
The last couple of weeks have been very trying around our home. Our septic tank needed to be emptied, and then it decided to backwash into our utility tubs in the basement. Oh sh--. I was to be the hero and decided to clean the pipe from the house to the tank. After three sets of clothes getting soiled, I thought that I had it all cleaned out. Next our washer died, and we started to look for a used one. The next day Karen went down into the basement to check on things and there we go again, more backwash. So for over a week, we were camping, not using water, and going over to the Courtney's to do our laundry. Thanks Annette!
I found a larger snake and started all over again. You push the snake into the 4 inch PVC pipe that connects the house to the tank. There was a blockage so I just kept pushing, and pushing, and pushing, and finally it broke free. I cannot tell you how happy I was to accomplish this task. Two nights ago we went down stairs and started cleaning up all of the mess.
I feel like we had a great breakthrough. Total price- $450.00. It could have been worse, and money is so tight right now. I am thankful that God has given me some skills to do maintenance around the house. I am also very thankful for all of my friends that are there for me. Hope your week is going good for you. Blessings, Van
I found a larger snake and started all over again. You push the snake into the 4 inch PVC pipe that connects the house to the tank. There was a blockage so I just kept pushing, and pushing, and pushing, and finally it broke free. I cannot tell you how happy I was to accomplish this task. Two nights ago we went down stairs and started cleaning up all of the mess.
I feel like we had a great breakthrough. Total price- $450.00. It could have been worse, and money is so tight right now. I am thankful that God has given me some skills to do maintenance around the house. I am also very thankful for all of my friends that are there for me. Hope your week is going good for you. Blessings, Van
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Our Trip
Last week we were privileged to go on a trip to the Poconos, then to New York City to see a Broadway Show. The show was called Next to Normal about a Bipolar mom and a dysfunctional family. There was a mom and dad, and sister. There was also a 8 month old boy who died that makes the whole show very emotional. The dad has never dealt with the death, and the mom ( Bipolar) just talks with her now 18 year old boy.
To me it was so real as they try to cope with normal family duties, as well as a therapist and a Psychiatrist. I found myself weeping, getting angry with the actors, and laughing out loud. The daughter is extremely angry that she is rejected time and time again by her father who works a lot, and her mom who is never home because of her disease.
The mom went off her meds a few times, had her meds changed a few times, and ended up in the hospital were she had E.C.T. ( electrical shock treatments). She comes home with memory loss, and has to deal with her life now in a way that she has never had to before. It is a very moving story line that kept Karen and I on the edge of our seats.
What did I learn from this show. I've learned to never go off my meds. I've learned to totally trust my wife and doctors. I've learned to keep pressing on with new goals and dreams. Bipolar illness may be my cross to bear, but the illness will never defeat me. I am stable for over one year, and I feel wonderful today. I get down, and I get up, and yet I feel normal. Thanks to all of the people in my life who have taken the time to help me. Blessings to you all, Van
To me it was so real as they try to cope with normal family duties, as well as a therapist and a Psychiatrist. I found myself weeping, getting angry with the actors, and laughing out loud. The daughter is extremely angry that she is rejected time and time again by her father who works a lot, and her mom who is never home because of her disease.
The mom went off her meds a few times, had her meds changed a few times, and ended up in the hospital were she had E.C.T. ( electrical shock treatments). She comes home with memory loss, and has to deal with her life now in a way that she has never had to before. It is a very moving story line that kept Karen and I on the edge of our seats.
What did I learn from this show. I've learned to never go off my meds. I've learned to totally trust my wife and doctors. I've learned to keep pressing on with new goals and dreams. Bipolar illness may be my cross to bear, but the illness will never defeat me. I am stable for over one year, and I feel wonderful today. I get down, and I get up, and yet I feel normal. Thanks to all of the people in my life who have taken the time to help me. Blessings to you all, Van
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
New York City here we come!
I am so excited. We are going to New York City to see a Broad way show called " Next to Normal". It is a story of a family who encounters bipolar illness. There are a lot of new songs, and it is billed as a comical musical. I feel that many times my life is a show with lots of comedy. I have been stable for over one year, and I feel very wonderful.
Life has a way of throwing me curves. I was depressed for three weeks, and the depression just stopped. I will say that it was mild, and that I made it through without and major problems. Karen and I are doing great as we are working together. I am staying out of trouble, and feel very good about my life right now.
I sold all of my sound and PA equipment from the basement a few weeks ago. I then went to the store and purchased a 47 inch flat screen TV. It is a great upgrade.We are in the process of cleaning out the entire basement. Our motto is what you do not use in a year you get rid of very soon. I feel very good about cleaning and organizing. This is my new way of living.
Life has a way of throwing me curves. I was depressed for three weeks, and the depression just stopped. I will say that it was mild, and that I made it through without and major problems. Karen and I are doing great as we are working together. I am staying out of trouble, and feel very good about my life right now.
I sold all of my sound and PA equipment from the basement a few weeks ago. I then went to the store and purchased a 47 inch flat screen TV. It is a great upgrade.We are in the process of cleaning out the entire basement. Our motto is what you do not use in a year you get rid of very soon. I feel very good about cleaning and organizing. This is my new way of living.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Celebrate Fall !
I am sitting here at the table just telling myself how blessed I am. Fall is here, and it is the time to celebrate life. In the world it is the the time to harvest crops. I love this time of year, because everything changes colors. God chooses to slow the world down after a long hot summer. People begin to can , freeze, and make desserts from orchards. We are going to make an apple pie from apples we purchased. Soon, Thanksgiving will be here and we can all gather together in community and share good fellowship. Yes, I love the fall season as it is the portal into winter. Use the fall as the time to share with friends. Have a wonderful time.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Short Term Memory
Recently, I have developed some short term memory. I am wondering if it is my meds, or just getting older. I get very frustrated as I forget people, places, and times. In the past I had a very good memory, and would use these resources to help people. I am learning to just take it as part of my life. Maybe I will just have to accept this as a new me.
I have just accepted a brand new idea. If my memory is bad, then, I will not hold grudges inside of my heart, because I will forget them. I do not worry, and fret when things go crazy around me, nor do I try to do more than I should do. Try to let go of things, and be kind to everyone who you meet. It is very hard for me, but I am getting used to this short term memory.
The other day I was to take a dvd back to the store, and I forgot it. We came back to the house to pick it up, and I forgot it again. Finally, we came back home, picked up the dvd, and took it to the store. Karen said that I should have a list for everything that I do. I definitely concur with her.Take the positive side, and make it a pleasant day instead of a stressful day. Have a blessed day.
I have just accepted a brand new idea. If my memory is bad, then, I will not hold grudges inside of my heart, because I will forget them. I do not worry, and fret when things go crazy around me, nor do I try to do more than I should do. Try to let go of things, and be kind to everyone who you meet. It is very hard for me, but I am getting used to this short term memory.
The other day I was to take a dvd back to the store, and I forgot it. We came back to the house to pick it up, and I forgot it again. Finally, we came back home, picked up the dvd, and took it to the store. Karen said that I should have a list for everything that I do. I definitely concur with her.Take the positive side, and make it a pleasant day instead of a stressful day. Have a blessed day.
The Lord is my light!
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.
3 Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.
4 One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.
5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.
6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.
7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
8 When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.
9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
11 Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.
Chocolate Cake
Last night I made a chocolate cake. I believe that it is the best cake that I have made. It is two layers and has some awesome frosting to top it off. Then I came up with a nutty idea to bring it in to work to share it with our staff. I wanted a piece of that cake so bad. I put plastic wrap over it to keep me away from any temptation. Actually I desired to bless our staff.
Today I want to talk about temptations.The desire to have or do something that you know you should avoid; "he felt the temptation and his will power weakened" , as fruit of the tree of knowledge in Eden, has come to epitomize temptation. Temptations come when you least expect them. Just because someone drinks a beer does not mean that you should drink beer.
You may be tempted to look at internet porn which can destroy your marriage. You may be wanting to spend huge amounts of money on things which have no lasting value.You may have lust in your heart, and be tempted to pursue after other relationships. You know that these things are wrong yet you yield after them.
I am making right chooses today, and getting good results. The temptations are there, but I am choosing to say no to these temptations. Lying, cheating,lusting, gluttony, greed, despair, laziness, anger, envy, and pride. I am not perfect, and I fall short in many areas, but I am asking Jesus for his help. Guess what, He is helping me, and He will help you too.
In closing, I wish to share one of my favorite scriptures.1 Corinthians 10:13 - "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." God will help you today. No matter what trial, or problem you are facing, God will bring you through. See you all soon.
Today I want to talk about temptations.The desire to have or do something that you know you should avoid; "he felt the temptation and his will power weakened" , as fruit of the tree of knowledge in Eden, has come to epitomize temptation. Temptations come when you least expect them. Just because someone drinks a beer does not mean that you should drink beer.
You may be tempted to look at internet porn which can destroy your marriage. You may be wanting to spend huge amounts of money on things which have no lasting value.You may have lust in your heart, and be tempted to pursue after other relationships. You know that these things are wrong yet you yield after them.
I am making right chooses today, and getting good results. The temptations are there, but I am choosing to say no to these temptations. Lying, cheating,lusting, gluttony, greed, despair, laziness, anger, envy, and pride. I am not perfect, and I fall short in many areas, but I am asking Jesus for his help. Guess what, He is helping me, and He will help you too.
In closing, I wish to share one of my favorite scriptures.1 Corinthians 10:13 - "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." God will help you today. No matter what trial, or problem you are facing, God will bring you through. See you all soon.
Monday, September 14, 2009
The Prayer of my Heart
Dear Jesus,
I come to you with a heart to say that I love you. I need you so much as I feel some times that I am not going to amount to anything. I know that this is not true. I am your child, and you will never leave me. With Bipolar illness, I know that I will need to stay so close to you. I have my good days, and my bad days. Jesus, be Lord of all of my days. Heal me from my thoughts that leave me so empty inside. I am your child, and you are always there to guide me.
Jesus, be my light, and shine your light before me.I do not like the feelings of hopelessness. I know that for most people this is normal. It is very normal to have bad days. Lord, help me to accept bad days as just normal. I also wish to establish the setting of goals for my life. I want to lose weight, I wish to play my music, and I wish to preach at churches around the area.
Jesus, I must fight the good fight of faith, and hold on to your promises. I must create an atmosphere of worship in my home. I must learn to praise you in all things. When I have temptations, Lord go ahead of me, and keep my footsteps. I choose you Lord. Please keep my pure and holy.I love you Lord, and I lift my voice, to worship you. Today, is my day to prosper and be in good health, even as my soul prospers. Jesus, You are my Lord.
I come to you with a heart to say that I love you. I need you so much as I feel some times that I am not going to amount to anything. I know that this is not true. I am your child, and you will never leave me. With Bipolar illness, I know that I will need to stay so close to you. I have my good days, and my bad days. Jesus, be Lord of all of my days. Heal me from my thoughts that leave me so empty inside. I am your child, and you are always there to guide me.
Jesus, be my light, and shine your light before me.I do not like the feelings of hopelessness. I know that for most people this is normal. It is very normal to have bad days. Lord, help me to accept bad days as just normal. I also wish to establish the setting of goals for my life. I want to lose weight, I wish to play my music, and I wish to preach at churches around the area.
Jesus, I must fight the good fight of faith, and hold on to your promises. I must create an atmosphere of worship in my home. I must learn to praise you in all things. When I have temptations, Lord go ahead of me, and keep my footsteps. I choose you Lord. Please keep my pure and holy.I love you Lord, and I lift my voice, to worship you. Today, is my day to prosper and be in good health, even as my soul prospers. Jesus, You are my Lord.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Life is what you make it!
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I am letting things get to me, when things should be what I make them. My life has been going well lately, and I am starting to set some good goals. I should never allow things to get in my way, nor should I allow circumstances to block me from fulfilling my destiny.
Recently I have been thinking about evangelism, and helping churches where there is a need. I have been given a gift to stir up people and churches to do good works in the local church. I have taken a year off to get healthy, and to remain stable from my Bipolar illness. I have worked very hard to maintain my good health, and will continue to press on to be the Pastor that God wants me to be.
Life is what you make it to be. I believe that God will help me, as I read my bible, study, pray to Jesus, and share my gifts with those around me. God does help us when we call on his name. I believe in faith that works. Today make a plan to do something great for God. I try not to do my will, but to ask God what He wants me to do, and then to do it. Have a blessed day.
Recently I have been thinking about evangelism, and helping churches where there is a need. I have been given a gift to stir up people and churches to do good works in the local church. I have taken a year off to get healthy, and to remain stable from my Bipolar illness. I have worked very hard to maintain my good health, and will continue to press on to be the Pastor that God wants me to be.
Life is what you make it to be. I believe that God will help me, as I read my bible, study, pray to Jesus, and share my gifts with those around me. God does help us when we call on his name. I believe in faith that works. Today make a plan to do something great for God. I try not to do my will, but to ask God what He wants me to do, and then to do it. Have a blessed day.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Pressing on!
I am learning to press on. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. ( Phil. 3: 14) My Bipolar illness has tried to stop me from success, and moving forward. I must not allow people, negative thinking, or bad circumstances to hinder my forward progress. I am going to daily bath myself in the word of God, and in confessions of what I am in Christ Jesus.
With Bipolar illness I fight staus quo, mind battles, moodswings, and passivity. No one knows what it is like to be used to be so on fire for Christ, and then move to a well, that's the way it's going to be attitude.
Most people live in the past, and are afraid to venture out into the future, maybe beacause of fear or a lack of motivation. I believe that you and I have a dream from God and that we must act on that dream. I also believe that there are those who will try and stop you from fulfilling your destiny from the Lord.
Pray for me, that God will open up the right doors for me to preach and teach the Gospel. I feel that I am moving in the right direction, and that I am ready. Goals and plans are good as long as they are in God's master plan. I do feel good about life right now, and am excited about my work. I am in the people ministry, and desire to help people grow. I see myself in God's will today. I will live in the future. Have a great week, Van
With Bipolar illness I fight staus quo, mind battles, moodswings, and passivity. No one knows what it is like to be used to be so on fire for Christ, and then move to a well, that's the way it's going to be attitude.
Most people live in the past, and are afraid to venture out into the future, maybe beacause of fear or a lack of motivation. I believe that you and I have a dream from God and that we must act on that dream. I also believe that there are those who will try and stop you from fulfilling your destiny from the Lord.
Pray for me, that God will open up the right doors for me to preach and teach the Gospel. I feel that I am moving in the right direction, and that I am ready. Goals and plans are good as long as they are in God's master plan. I do feel good about life right now, and am excited about my work. I am in the people ministry, and desire to help people grow. I see myself in God's will today. I will live in the future. Have a great week, Van
Monday, August 31, 2009
New and Old
Today is a beautiful day. The sun was out and everything seemed to flow wonderfully. For the last few weeks I have felt a bit down. Some would say that is normal, and I quess I am learning to live with my new moods. Recently Karen(wife) made a statement that I am a different person. The fact is that I am a brand new person. My old life was filled with hyperactivity, buzzing around, and never slowing down.
My new life because of Bipolar is quite the opposite. I am slow to speak, slow in doing things, and moving very slow as I contemplate life with new eyes. Karen says that I am now very organized. I really need structure to keep my life in order. I find myself even thinking slow thoughts. Life is different, and I am getting used to this new way of living.
In my old life, I lived for me, and for today. In my new life, I am living for others, and for the future. Life is good, and life will get better to those who wait on the Lord. Have great week, and be blessed, Van
My new life because of Bipolar is quite the opposite. I am slow to speak, slow in doing things, and moving very slow as I contemplate life with new eyes. Karen says that I am now very organized. I really need structure to keep my life in order. I find myself even thinking slow thoughts. Life is different, and I am getting used to this new way of living.
In my old life, I lived for me, and for today. In my new life, I am living for others, and for the future. Life is good, and life will get better to those who wait on the Lord. Have great week, and be blessed, Van
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Harmony
In musical terms harmony is a state of pure joy to the ear. The music flows from the singer or instrument in melodies that bring happiness to the hearer. I have played the trumpet for over 44 years. I enjoy playing songs that make people stop and listen. On the contrary when someone sings out of tune, or an instrument plays and squeaks, you can see people just cringe .
So it is in life. You can choose to walk in harmony with your fellow man, or you can choose to have a bitter attitude causing those around you to feel bad feelings inside. Harmony is a state of complete peace, where those around you feel your peace. They can also sense disharmony, and will try to stay away from discord.
In my early years I was a lot more aggressive and found myself hurting people who were trying to help me. Today with Bipolar I am very mellow, and will try to keep peace with everyone. Harmony is not easy. You have to work at getting along with those who are different from you. I have changed so much today.My main goal is to be in harmony with God. If that will be accomplished then I can walk in harmony with many people that I come in contact with.Be Blessed and try to walk in harmony with those who you meet.
So it is in life. You can choose to walk in harmony with your fellow man, or you can choose to have a bitter attitude causing those around you to feel bad feelings inside. Harmony is a state of complete peace, where those around you feel your peace. They can also sense disharmony, and will try to stay away from discord.
In my early years I was a lot more aggressive and found myself hurting people who were trying to help me. Today with Bipolar I am very mellow, and will try to keep peace with everyone. Harmony is not easy. You have to work at getting along with those who are different from you. I have changed so much today.My main goal is to be in harmony with God. If that will be accomplished then I can walk in harmony with many people that I come in contact with.Be Blessed and try to walk in harmony with those who you meet.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Moods
Today I would like to talk about long term mood disorders . Where as a person has a good mood or a bad mood, I tend as a person who has Bipolar illness to have periods of depression and mania.This is what is now termed Bipolar Disorder or major mood disorders. It was formally called Manic depression in which a person has both periods of depression and mania.
Bipolar disorders- from Wikipedia free encylopedia
I still have periods in which I can't get motivated, but for the most part I am a happy camper.
In September I turn 54, and I am looking forward to many more good years.Be Blessed, Van
Bipolar disorders- from Wikipedia free encylopedia
- Bipolar disorder (BD), a mood disorder formerly known as "manic depression" and described by alternating periods of mania and depression (and in some cases rapid cycling, mixed states, and psychotic symptoms). Subtypes include:
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- Bipolar I is distinguished by the presence or history of one or more manic episodes or mixed episodes with or without major depressive episodes. A depressive episode is not required for the diagnosis of Bipolar I disorder, but depressive episodes are often part of the course of the illness.
- Bipolar II consisting of recurrent intermittent hypomanic and depressive episodes.
- Cyclothymia is a milder form of bipolar disorder, consisting of recurrent hypomanic and dysthymic episodes, but no full manic episodes or full major depressive episodes.
- Bipolar Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (BD-NOS), sometimes called "sub-threshold" bipolar, indicates that the patient suffers from some symptoms in the bipolar spectrum (e.g. manic and depressive symptoms) but does not fully qualify for any of the three formal bipolar DSM-IV diagnoses mentioned above.
- It is estimated that roughly one percent of the adult population suffers from bipolar I, roughly one percent of the adult population suffers from bipolar II or cyclothymia, and somewhere between two and five percent suffer from "sub-threshold" forms of bipolar disorder.
I still have periods in which I can't get motivated, but for the most part I am a happy camper.
In September I turn 54, and I am looking forward to many more good years.Be Blessed, Van
Saturday, August 22, 2009
onions
My life is like an onion in that there are many layers. On the outside it always looks like everything is going wonderful. On the inside there are blemishes and scares that need to be healed. One layer is one of foolish pride. I sometimes hold pride inside my heart, and find myself doing things that are not of the Lord.
Secondly, there is a layer of guilt that holds me back from doing what God wishes for me to do. Guilt is a plan from the devil that holds me in a trap. I feel so bad inside that I can't move on.
Thirdly, there is a layer of anger." Everyone should be slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires"James 1:19,20.
Anger is a layer that can go deep in side a persons heart.
The bible has a lot say about layers inside your heart. First, ask God to forgive you of all of your layers. Next, walk in forgiveness, and lastly possess a grateful heart, always giving thanks. I am constantly asking God to take away my layers, and I know that He will. Be Blessed.
Secondly, there is a layer of guilt that holds me back from doing what God wishes for me to do. Guilt is a plan from the devil that holds me in a trap. I feel so bad inside that I can't move on.
Thirdly, there is a layer of anger." Everyone should be slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires"James 1:19,20.
Anger is a layer that can go deep in side a persons heart.
The bible has a lot say about layers inside your heart. First, ask God to forgive you of all of your layers. Next, walk in forgiveness, and lastly possess a grateful heart, always giving thanks. I am constantly asking God to take away my layers, and I know that He will. Be Blessed.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Surviving to Thriving
A good friend of mine recently said that I should be thriving instead of surviving. Actually this was my therapist. She has a way to motivate me. I have some great days and I have some really down days. She stated that as a person with Bipolar I would have many bad days, and that this would be normal for me. I have thought a lot about this and since then it has helped me a lot.
I believe that I can overcome the many obstacles in my life by thinking positive. This year I have made major growth changes in my mental health. I stay on a very good schedule, and have learned to be more flexible. Life can bring me many hard things, and I sometimes do not handle them well. Recently, I am making a new resolution to win no matter what comes my way.
I am thriving in life, and wish to be the best person that I can be. Today is a great day, and I can say that my mind is getting free from the darkness that once hindered me.The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Prov 18:12. I believe that I am doing better because of the help around me. I know that I need help, and those around me make sure that I will stay stable in my illness. Special thanks to Karen, my wife who is also my best friend. Thanks to my psychiatrist, and my therapist who are angels. We leave for North Carolina tomorrow. This is therapy for our family. Have a great weekend, Love, Van
I believe that I can overcome the many obstacles in my life by thinking positive. This year I have made major growth changes in my mental health. I stay on a very good schedule, and have learned to be more flexible. Life can bring me many hard things, and I sometimes do not handle them well. Recently, I am making a new resolution to win no matter what comes my way.
I am thriving in life, and wish to be the best person that I can be. Today is a great day, and I can say that my mind is getting free from the darkness that once hindered me.The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Prov 18:12. I believe that I am doing better because of the help around me. I know that I need help, and those around me make sure that I will stay stable in my illness. Special thanks to Karen, my wife who is also my best friend. Thanks to my psychiatrist, and my therapist who are angels. We leave for North Carolina tomorrow. This is therapy for our family. Have a great weekend, Love, Van
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Brand new days ahead!
Most of you know that last year was a struggle for the Heslop family. Bipolar Illness can be a major challenge. I went to the hospital and had my meds adjusted. We had to cancel a wonderful trip to Oregon, and many other vacations that were planned. My wife was needless to say worn out by the whole year.
This year started out different. We took trips to Maryland to visit our grandchildren every few months. Aliza and Josiah are growing so fast. I went to my doctors appointments faithfully, and took my meds right on time. In April we went to Williamsburg Va, and had a wonderful time. On June 8th I celebrated my 10th year anniversary at Covenant Baptist church for employment.
In July, we went to Williamsburg, Va, and then to the Eastern Shore of Maryland, where we had a family reunion with many of my wife's relatives from the west coast. This leads me up to our present vacation where we are going to North Carolina.
What a difference one year can make. Karen and I are having a great summer. We are sharing our lives together. I am stable and am responding to her love. We have a few more vacations planned for the fall, and look forward to seeing some new sites such as Alexandria Va. and back again to Williamsburg, Va. for the lighting of the trees. Be blessed.
This year started out different. We took trips to Maryland to visit our grandchildren every few months. Aliza and Josiah are growing so fast. I went to my doctors appointments faithfully, and took my meds right on time. In April we went to Williamsburg Va, and had a wonderful time. On June 8th I celebrated my 10th year anniversary at Covenant Baptist church for employment.
In July, we went to Williamsburg, Va, and then to the Eastern Shore of Maryland, where we had a family reunion with many of my wife's relatives from the west coast. This leads me up to our present vacation where we are going to North Carolina.
What a difference one year can make. Karen and I are having a great summer. We are sharing our lives together. I am stable and am responding to her love. We have a few more vacations planned for the fall, and look forward to seeing some new sites such as Alexandria Va. and back again to Williamsburg, Va. for the lighting of the trees. Be blessed.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Quietness
I just sat outside, and enjoyed the quietness of the outdoors. The bugs, the birds and the night sing so beautifully. I love the outdoors.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Great News!
I just recieved a phone call from an old friend. His blood pressure went up super high over the week end, and he was rushed by ambulance to the hospital. He was having a panic attack, and was very relieved. I have been praying for him, and always knew that God was in control of his life. On Monday he was approached by a young lady who just kept saying the he needed to confess Jesus as his savior. While she was saying this again, he started saying Jesus come into my heart, Jesus come into my heart. He said that right away he felt Jesus come into his heart, and felt the presence of the Lord. I just recieved a call from him, and I was so excited to hear the good news. I know many people do not believe in Jesus, but many do. Do not give up on your friends, and family. I am praying for you today.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Feelings of the mind
As a person with Bipolar1 I often find myself fighting feelings in my mind. I am doing great as far as my illness, but sometimes I just have a hard time coping with life. I just fight these feelings, and know that they will be with me, and that they may never go away. I am a very positive person, and look for opportunities to see good in things. Recently I have taken on some negative traits such as not believing that we will have enough money to live on. I also see our world as a very dark place to live.
With Bipolar it is very normal to have mood swings. I can be doing great, then I face depression in a matter of hours. I turn everything into negative, and see myself as a big loser. I fight hard to stay positive, and know that I am a Christian who has the victory.The victory comes, and goes quickly as my mind lies to me over and over again. The mind is a powerful thing. I sleep very well at night, and wake up very sluggish. It is during the day that my mind has the liberty to feed me the lies about life.
Another part of Bipolar is mania. Recently I have been fighting with all my heart against the upper part of Bipolar illness, Mania. I am feeling pretty good, and my mind will tell me that I am switching to mania. I know that I am not manic, but in my mind I feel that I being told that is not true. I will slide into another mania, and my mind tells me that I will not make it out of it. Of course all of this is a lie, because I am not manic, and I am doing great.
I am writing these blogs, because there are people out there who face the same mind games as I do. You may or may not be Bipolar, but you still face the battles. I have some advice. Stay close to people who love you. They can help you, pray with you, and talk you through the mind battle. Keep your minds stayed on good things. Focus on the best things, things that can keep you in control of your thought life. Pray for me, I pray for you.
With Bipolar it is very normal to have mood swings. I can be doing great, then I face depression in a matter of hours. I turn everything into negative, and see myself as a big loser. I fight hard to stay positive, and know that I am a Christian who has the victory.The victory comes, and goes quickly as my mind lies to me over and over again. The mind is a powerful thing. I sleep very well at night, and wake up very sluggish. It is during the day that my mind has the liberty to feed me the lies about life.
Another part of Bipolar is mania. Recently I have been fighting with all my heart against the upper part of Bipolar illness, Mania. I am feeling pretty good, and my mind will tell me that I am switching to mania. I know that I am not manic, but in my mind I feel that I being told that is not true. I will slide into another mania, and my mind tells me that I will not make it out of it. Of course all of this is a lie, because I am not manic, and I am doing great.
I am writing these blogs, because there are people out there who face the same mind games as I do. You may or may not be Bipolar, but you still face the battles. I have some advice. Stay close to people who love you. They can help you, pray with you, and talk you through the mind battle. Keep your minds stayed on good things. Focus on the best things, things that can keep you in control of your thought life. Pray for me, I pray for you.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Big Storm
A giant storm came through our area around 6:00 pm tonight. First it rained, then came the wind, then the hail, then everything went crazy. The lightening and thunder were frightening, and the trees started to lose there branches and leaves. The hail was penny to quarter size. The storm lasted over 45 minutes, and just pushed it's way around our little neighborhood. The temperature dropped around 20 degrees in a few minutes. The hail was all over the ground along with all of the debree from the strong winds. I can say that I was a bit shaken from this storm.
When storms in life come against you remember that Jesus is there to pilot your ship. He will bring you through you roughest battles, and show you the way to go. My Bipolar illness is a storm for me. I believe that Christ is there to help me through my greatest fears and battles. When you are overtaken remember to call Jesus and a special friend. Storms are created to help test you. Will you pass through the storm or will you sink? I pray that you will hold on and find a great victory. See you next time.
When storms in life come against you remember that Jesus is there to pilot your ship. He will bring you through you roughest battles, and show you the way to go. My Bipolar illness is a storm for me. I believe that Christ is there to help me through my greatest fears and battles. When you are overtaken remember to call Jesus and a special friend. Storms are created to help test you. Will you pass through the storm or will you sink? I pray that you will hold on and find a great victory. See you next time.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
What Bipolar illness means to me!
I wish to share my three years of Bipolar illness. I wish to share what Bipolar is to me, my attitudes, my acceptance, and my fears, and mood swings, and my happy days. Bipolar illness is a mental disorder characterized by episodes of mania and depression. The true name for Bipolar is Manic Depressive illness. To me it is a series of ups and downs where I slide in and out of mind games. I have a very hard time accepting this illness. I feel good most of the time. I now know that I feel good because of the medicine. I take lithium, trileptal, abilify, atarax, and seroquel when needed. I get manic, and I get depressed. The lithium helps me to stay stable.
So, what is a "normal" person with Bipolar Disorder? An individual who has accepted that he/she has a major mental disorder has taken the first big step. Acceptance of Bipolar Disorder comes through education, reading, and understanding his/her own symptoms, knowledge of his/her triggers and more. Acceptance comes through support, feedback and advice not just from professionals but by other individuals who share bipolar disorder. Acceptance of Bipolar Disorder means knowing that you have a mental illness, not that you are a mental illness. Acceptance means the ability to live, love and carry on with your life. My attitude changed when I changed my acceptance levels toward the illness. Today I have a better attitude.
Now on to my fears. When I came out of the hospital, I was so full of fear that I could not stay by myself. Thank God for friends that let me come over and spend a few nights. Today I still have a few fears, but mostly normal fears. I am not afraid of the illness, and I will not allow the fears that come with the illness overtake me.
I will now talk about mood swings. The best diagnosis is a stable person. When I have a mood swing, I go from normal to depression, or normal to mania, or a mixed state which is which is both depressive and manic. I still have mood swings, and these can make our home a very hard place to find peace.I can yell, scream, insist my way, or just get blue all in a day.These mood swings are serious, but can be helped by getting good sleep, eating good, stay away from drugs and alcohol, and hang around good positive people. My mood swings are so much better today. I have learned to be a happy person with a illness. I have accepted my illness. and take the challenge to help those around me with the bipolar illness. Have a great summer.
So, what is a "normal" person with Bipolar Disorder? An individual who has accepted that he/she has a major mental disorder has taken the first big step. Acceptance of Bipolar Disorder comes through education, reading, and understanding his/her own symptoms, knowledge of his/her triggers and more. Acceptance comes through support, feedback and advice not just from professionals but by other individuals who share bipolar disorder. Acceptance of Bipolar Disorder means knowing that you have a mental illness, not that you are a mental illness. Acceptance means the ability to live, love and carry on with your life. My attitude changed when I changed my acceptance levels toward the illness. Today I have a better attitude.
Now on to my fears. When I came out of the hospital, I was so full of fear that I could not stay by myself. Thank God for friends that let me come over and spend a few nights. Today I still have a few fears, but mostly normal fears. I am not afraid of the illness, and I will not allow the fears that come with the illness overtake me.
I will now talk about mood swings. The best diagnosis is a stable person. When I have a mood swing, I go from normal to depression, or normal to mania, or a mixed state which is which is both depressive and manic. I still have mood swings, and these can make our home a very hard place to find peace.I can yell, scream, insist my way, or just get blue all in a day.These mood swings are serious, but can be helped by getting good sleep, eating good, stay away from drugs and alcohol, and hang around good positive people. My mood swings are so much better today. I have learned to be a happy person with a illness. I have accepted my illness. and take the challenge to help those around me with the bipolar illness. Have a great summer.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Williamsburg in July
We are here in Williamsburg, Va on our vacation. We are joined by our children and grandchildren. I love Williamsburg because it has so much historic value. The weather is starting to heat up, and the pools are getting warmer. Have a great summer!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Importance of Family
I grew up on the Eastern Shore of Maryland in a normal family except that my father traveled a lot. We took vacations, enjoyed Christmas, and had music playing around the home.I played music in the band, and actually made all shore band, district band and all state band playing the trumpet. I finally made 1st chair trumpet, and was driven by the need to succeed.Joshua 24:15 says" Then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the true God, or the false gods. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Sadly for me, I chose the way of the world. I chose the wrong friends, and started getting involved in heavy drug use. I worked at a local Arby's and found a lot of good friends. I made frequent trips to Ocean City Md, where I bought and sold drugs.During this time I had been working at my parents home to make some extra money. I was raking leaves and started a fire only to pour gasoline on the fire. The fire quickly flared up and caught me on fire. A buddy quickly threw me to the ground and rolled me over to put the flames out. I went to the emergency room where they told my mom that I had 2-3rd degree burns. My school friends started to call me crispy critter, and I pulled away from everyone.My mom prayed for me, and I received a miracle. As of today, I only have a small scar on my left hand. The doctors verified that it was beyond medical science.I graduated from High School, and went to Salisbury University. On Oct 5th, 1973 my big day happened. I was still on drugs, and was doing a free concert with my friend Robin Pratt. The music was jamming, and he walked away and said he was leaving. I announced to the crowd of around 50 people that the concert was over. I went over to Robins car, and asked " Whats wrong" He said everything. His parents are breaking up, his girl friend left him, and he had to leave College because of bad grades. I tried everything to console him, but nothing worked. He wanted to take his life, as he was so depressed. Then I remembered my mom's prayers. I shared them with Robin, and quite miraculous both of us had a eye opening Christ saving experience.Robin and I turned our lives around for Jesus. Jesus does make a big difference. Robin left college , and I left after the first semester. I had a good year until I went to visit some of my old friends. This was August of 1974. I started smoking marijuana again, and felt myself falling away from the church that I was attending. I started going to Ocean City Maryland again, and quickly found some heavy drugs. John 10:10 say that the thief comes to steal and destroy.I went back to my friends home in Salisbury, Md. and asked for some LSD. I took the LSD, ate some pills, and drank some liquor . I can't explain what happened, but all of a sudden, I started to blank out.My friends came over me, and verified that my heart had stopped beating for 3 minutes. Quickly they left the room, as they did not wish to be blamed for a death. Then it happened. I saw a vision of Jesus riding on a white horse, and He said to me: Jeremiah 29:13 You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart. I cried yes Jesus, with all of my heart. Just as I cried, I came back to my self over that toilet, and promised to Him that I would serve Him all the days of my live.My ministry began to take off, as I sought to tell my story all over the world. I was married in 1976, and found a beautiful family of Mennonites in Pennsylvania.I needed a strong family as I had just come from a world of addictions and pain. Today my life is all about family. Family is coming together to share, live out values, and live out community to help those all around you.I truly have a wonderful family, starting with my own. I am married with 3 boys, and 2 grandchildren. Life around our home is great. We are blessed.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Loving my Wife!
I am the luckiest man in the world. I have Bipolar Illness. It can challenge my wife to the fullest degree, and cause some major problems in our home. I had a manic episode last year that caused our relationship to falter. Yet she stood beside me . She talked with me, and tried to understand the illness, in which we both are still learning about. She wants to trust me, but trust is gained through time. One year has passed, and we are building a stronger relationship.
Forgiveness came easy for her as she states that she forgives me as Christ forgives me. I still have mood swings and she tries to help me through the hard times. She is a very strong woman. She works full time, and then comes home to look after me. I can only say that she is a God sent woman sent from God for me.
Neither of us wished for the illness to come to our home, but it did. I believe that she is much stronger than I am. I know that our marriage of 32 years counts for something.I am lucky because I seem to be given a second chance to stay stable in my illness. Will I always be stable. I do not know, nor do I know when the next depression, or mania will come. I do know this, I have the best wife in the whole world. Karen, I love you with my whole heart, and I look forward to many more years together.
Forgiveness came easy for her as she states that she forgives me as Christ forgives me. I still have mood swings and she tries to help me through the hard times. She is a very strong woman. She works full time, and then comes home to look after me. I can only say that she is a God sent woman sent from God for me.
Neither of us wished for the illness to come to our home, but it did. I believe that she is much stronger than I am. I know that our marriage of 32 years counts for something.I am lucky because I seem to be given a second chance to stay stable in my illness. Will I always be stable. I do not know, nor do I know when the next depression, or mania will come. I do know this, I have the best wife in the whole world. Karen, I love you with my whole heart, and I look forward to many more years together.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Diagnosis
Two years ago I was diagnosed as Bipolar. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes one to move from mania( highs), to deep lows( depression). I am finding out now that I must have had some form of Bipolar disease for most of my life. Thank God that I never acting out in the early years. At age 52 I went into what pyschiatrist call a manic episode. My mind began to spin, and my whole being just went into a frenzy. I stopped taking my meds, and began to do things that were irrational, and crazy like.
It lasted over 5 months because I loved the high I was feeling. Finally I was approached by my wife, who sent me to my pyschiatrist, who sent me to the emergency room. They did tests, and found out that I needed to go to a hospital. I went to the hospital and stayed 1 week. After I got my meds stabilized, and I was feeling better, they allowed me to go home.
For weeks, I was araid of the dark, and had terrible thoughts in my mind. Slowly I was starting to regain my mind. Today, I am feeling much better, and have a much better outlook on life. I go to my pyschiatrist, a therapist, and a devoted friend who meets with me on a regular basis. I work part time, and then work around the house. I have Bipolar 1 which is the most severe. I am coping with it be taking my meds faithfully, and seeing my doctors, and friends. If you have Bipolar or any mental illness, please try to follow the doctors plan for your illness. All I know is that I am feeling so much better now that I am follow my plan. Have a great 4th of July.
It lasted over 5 months because I loved the high I was feeling. Finally I was approached by my wife, who sent me to my pyschiatrist, who sent me to the emergency room. They did tests, and found out that I needed to go to a hospital. I went to the hospital and stayed 1 week. After I got my meds stabilized, and I was feeling better, they allowed me to go home.
For weeks, I was araid of the dark, and had terrible thoughts in my mind. Slowly I was starting to regain my mind. Today, I am feeling much better, and have a much better outlook on life. I go to my pyschiatrist, a therapist, and a devoted friend who meets with me on a regular basis. I work part time, and then work around the house. I have Bipolar 1 which is the most severe. I am coping with it be taking my meds faithfully, and seeing my doctors, and friends. If you have Bipolar or any mental illness, please try to follow the doctors plan for your illness. All I know is that I am feeling so much better now that I am follow my plan. Have a great 4th of July.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Patience
On Friday we were traveling down to the Eastern Shore of Maryland. If you know anything of the Shore, then you will know of the famous Chesapeake Bay Bridge back ups. We started to find ourselves in a backup around Rt 97 before Annapolis , Md. I began to look at the cars and saw every car imaginable. I put on loud music, and began to sing. Finally, I just decided to relax, and enjoy the trip.
Now I do not believe that I have road rage, but I usually get nervous when the cars back up. Often a driver will speed in front of me, like he is going some where. My hands start to get sweaty, as I hold the steering wheel tight. My wife sees me start to get uptight, and says" babe are you alright", in which, I say yes, I am fine, but really I am stewing inside.
This trip was different. I decided to try patience. I was cool, and calm. I smiled as the cars sped around my car. The bible says in Colossians 3:12" Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. After around 2 hours of backup we cruised over the big bridge towards our destination.
The whole weekend was great. I learning a big lesson. Start your trip with patience, and you will end your trip in peace. I am back at work today and I feel great. Try giving patience a chance in your life. You will see that you, like I did, find a whole new way to live. Have a great day.
Now I do not believe that I have road rage, but I usually get nervous when the cars back up. Often a driver will speed in front of me, like he is going some where. My hands start to get sweaty, as I hold the steering wheel tight. My wife sees me start to get uptight, and says" babe are you alright", in which, I say yes, I am fine, but really I am stewing inside.
This trip was different. I decided to try patience. I was cool, and calm. I smiled as the cars sped around my car. The bible says in Colossians 3:12" Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. After around 2 hours of backup we cruised over the big bridge towards our destination.
The whole weekend was great. I learning a big lesson. Start your trip with patience, and you will end your trip in peace. I am back at work today and I feel great. Try giving patience a chance in your life. You will see that you, like I did, find a whole new way to live. Have a great day.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Who did Jesus Die For!
To me Jesus died for everyone! I believe this with all of my heart. I talk with people who do not believe this. They say that he died for the rich, or for the poor.When I talk with an atheist, he does not believe in God.When I talk with a Baptist or Methodist or denominational person, they
say they believe, but their actions prove different by the people in their churches.
Rom 5:8 says that " But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." That verse says that Christ died for everyone. I would love to see a church full of sinners hungry to meet God. The problem is that you and I think we have arrived just because we have accepted Christ. This is just the beginning. Go out and bring in everyone to your church. Bring in drug addicts, alcoholics, prostitutes, the poor, the rich, the mentally impaired, the professional, the fast food worker, and ever one else that you can think of.
Recently I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disease. My life has radically changed. I am on medicine to keep me balanced, and I have mood swings that cause me to sway in my balance.I do not like having this problem, and some people do not know how to deal with me. It is not their problem, but I need to help them to understand my disease. Bipolar Disease is a chemical imbalance in the brain. I have Bipolar 1 which means I switch from Depression to mania. I am praying that more mentally challenged people will come to my church. Christ came to die for all of His children. Reach out to someone today,fill your church, and help to change your world.
say they believe, but their actions prove different by the people in their churches.
Rom 5:8 says that " But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." That verse says that Christ died for everyone. I would love to see a church full of sinners hungry to meet God. The problem is that you and I think we have arrived just because we have accepted Christ. This is just the beginning. Go out and bring in everyone to your church. Bring in drug addicts, alcoholics, prostitutes, the poor, the rich, the mentally impaired, the professional, the fast food worker, and ever one else that you can think of.
Recently I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disease. My life has radically changed. I am on medicine to keep me balanced, and I have mood swings that cause me to sway in my balance.I do not like having this problem, and some people do not know how to deal with me. It is not their problem, but I need to help them to understand my disease. Bipolar Disease is a chemical imbalance in the brain. I have Bipolar 1 which means I switch from Depression to mania. I am praying that more mentally challenged people will come to my church. Christ came to die for all of His children. Reach out to someone today,fill your church, and help to change your world.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Success
Success is the continual achievement of the goals that God has set for you. Ps: 20:4 says " May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. " I believe that I am a success because I am doing what God wants me to do. Even though I am diagnosed with Bipolar Disease, I still have a calling upon my life. Many teach that in order to be happy you must be pulling in large amounts of money, or work at a prestigious job .
I am passionate about helping people, and will put my feelings down to see someone get the help they need. I have been working in Full Time Ministry since 1978. I love seeing someone being set free from alcohol or drugs, and rejoice when they stay clean. Our marraiges are falling apart. We can make a difference by having a good marraige. I have been married for 32 years, and feel just as much in love, as when I got married in that little Mennonite Church in Pennsylvania.
Success is not money or power. Success does not puff up your ego. Success could be working for a local McDonalds for 30 years. I worked for a local church in Maryland, and never recieved a large pay check. I feel though that I was successful, because I fulfilled the vision of reching out to lost people. In closing, take heart to this blog. Change your mind, and become successful by doing what God wants you to do.
I am passionate about helping people, and will put my feelings down to see someone get the help they need. I have been working in Full Time Ministry since 1978. I love seeing someone being set free from alcohol or drugs, and rejoice when they stay clean. Our marraiges are falling apart. We can make a difference by having a good marraige. I have been married for 32 years, and feel just as much in love, as when I got married in that little Mennonite Church in Pennsylvania.
Success is not money or power. Success does not puff up your ego. Success could be working for a local McDonalds for 30 years. I worked for a local church in Maryland, and never recieved a large pay check. I feel though that I was successful, because I fulfilled the vision of reching out to lost people. In closing, take heart to this blog. Change your mind, and become successful by doing what God wants you to do.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Friends
I really wish to blog about friends today. So many people that I know do not have one single friend.The bible says Prov. 18:24 "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." First of all, Jesus is my best friend. He is closer than a brother. He paid a debt that I could not pay, therefore, I owe him my all.
I have 6 or 8 friends, that will be there for me whenever I call. I also will be there for them too. I need friends, and we have a great time together. We have birthdays together, parties, and just get together. In 1978 I was told that as a pastor I could not be close to anyone.
I lived like that for many years, and was very sad. Ten years ago, I broke that mold, and started to friend good friends. I can laugh out loud, and tell good jokes, and just be quiet with my friends. My friends also tell me when I am getting out of line. The bible says that a good friend will tell you your faults. I appreciate this, and am a better man for it.
If you are lonely, and do not have any friends, just stop and ask God for some new friends. Start with one friend, and build your friendship from there. I can truly say that I am a happy man. My wife and I share our hearts and feelings with our friends. My prayer for you is that you will reach out and find some new friends. Have great day.
I have 6 or 8 friends, that will be there for me whenever I call. I also will be there for them too. I need friends, and we have a great time together. We have birthdays together, parties, and just get together. In 1978 I was told that as a pastor I could not be close to anyone.
I lived like that for many years, and was very sad. Ten years ago, I broke that mold, and started to friend good friends. I can laugh out loud, and tell good jokes, and just be quiet with my friends. My friends also tell me when I am getting out of line. The bible says that a good friend will tell you your faults. I appreciate this, and am a better man for it.
If you are lonely, and do not have any friends, just stop and ask God for some new friends. Start with one friend, and build your friendship from there. I can truly say that I am a happy man. My wife and I share our hearts and feelings with our friends. My prayer for you is that you will reach out and find some new friends. Have great day.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Vacation
I started vacation today. It is such a feeling of joy. It does not matter if it rains or if it is sunny. It is a time to relax, and chill out. One thing I am doing is helping Karen around the house, working on her gardens. America is way too busy. I talk to people every day who just seem to be overloaded with burdens. The bible states that every man needs a sabbath, a day to rest, and find peace with God.
I try to find a day every week to stay in my sabbath, a day to rest, to pray, to meditate, and find God's peace for my soul. I believe that this is very hard for most people because we feel that we need to work to make money. Also most of us, need to keep busy for our self esteem.
Just recently I went part time at work. It was hard at first, then became easier as I started to rest in my self. Things will work out for you if you rest in God. While on vacation this month, I plan to watch a few movie, work outside, go to Maryland to vist our son and wife, and two granchildren. Life is good right now, and I plan to replenish my soul by taking a sabbath to reflect on God's amazing grace. Have a great week, Van
I try to find a day every week to stay in my sabbath, a day to rest, to pray, to meditate, and find God's peace for my soul. I believe that this is very hard for most people because we feel that we need to work to make money. Also most of us, need to keep busy for our self esteem.
Just recently I went part time at work. It was hard at first, then became easier as I started to rest in my self. Things will work out for you if you rest in God. While on vacation this month, I plan to watch a few movie, work outside, go to Maryland to vist our son and wife, and two granchildren. Life is good right now, and I plan to replenish my soul by taking a sabbath to reflect on God's amazing grace. Have a great week, Van
Friday, June 5, 2009
Peace
Recently, I have felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I realize that peace only comes from God.
Jesus leaves His peace with us, His peace He gives to us. Not as the world gives only as Jesus can give. Let not your heart be troubled, nor should you be afraid. (John 14:27). Everyone I talk to is troubled by something. It seems as if the world is crashing down around us. I have a new relationship with Jesus Christ, and He promises me peace as I trust in Him. I also have faith in Him to keep me from the evil one. I have Bipolar illness, and that causes me to have problems. I am in recovery, and I sense that with God's help I will be ok. Peace comes from Jesus to my heart.
Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: (Romans 5:1).
I cannot gossip and have peace, I cannot lie, cheat, and steal, and have peace. To be justified means to be made right with God, and the only way to be made right with God, is to accept His son Jesus into your heart.I did this in 1973, and was filled with God's peace, love, and joy.
Today I am a man of peace, not because of me, but because of Him. I love Jesus with all of my heart. I can rest in His promises, and have the assurance that no matter what happens, I am His child. Be blessed.
Jesus leaves His peace with us, His peace He gives to us. Not as the world gives only as Jesus can give. Let not your heart be troubled, nor should you be afraid. (John 14:27). Everyone I talk to is troubled by something. It seems as if the world is crashing down around us. I have a new relationship with Jesus Christ, and He promises me peace as I trust in Him. I also have faith in Him to keep me from the evil one. I have Bipolar illness, and that causes me to have problems. I am in recovery, and I sense that with God's help I will be ok. Peace comes from Jesus to my heart.
Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: (Romans 5:1).
I cannot gossip and have peace, I cannot lie, cheat, and steal, and have peace. To be justified means to be made right with God, and the only way to be made right with God, is to accept His son Jesus into your heart.I did this in 1973, and was filled with God's peace, love, and joy.
Today I am a man of peace, not because of me, but because of Him. I love Jesus with all of my heart. I can rest in His promises, and have the assurance that no matter what happens, I am His child. Be blessed.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Laughter
One day not long ago I started to laugh. I cannot remember what started it, but I rolled and rolled all over. After the outburst of laughter I felt so good inside. Proverbs 17:22A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. I desire to have a cheerful heart, one that sings, and encourages people. Maybe you do not know that saying bad words to people crushes their spirit, but scripture says in many places, that life and death are in the power of the tongue.There are thousands of people that fight depression every day, and we need to help them with encouragement, and kind words.
I do smile a lot, and take time to make others smile. Someone said to me I just can't get into that joy stuff. I can and I do because I have a choice to be happy or to be sad. Over winter I got really depressed. It was a terrible feeling, and it lasted for 3 weeks. I cried because there are people who are depressed for months, years, and their whole life. My goal is to make people happy. Smile a little more, laugh a lot, and tell people a kind word today. You do have a choice.
I wish you God's riches blessings, Van
I do smile a lot, and take time to make others smile. Someone said to me I just can't get into that joy stuff. I can and I do because I have a choice to be happy or to be sad. Over winter I got really depressed. It was a terrible feeling, and it lasted for 3 weeks. I cried because there are people who are depressed for months, years, and their whole life. My goal is to make people happy. Smile a little more, laugh a lot, and tell people a kind word today. You do have a choice.
I wish you God's riches blessings, Van
Monday, May 25, 2009
THANKFUL
Hi again,
On this memorial day, I am thankful for our Country, our soldiers, and my family. Time has a way of slipping away when we do not say thanks enough.I did not join in any armed services, so thanks to all of the men and women who protect me every day. We still live in the best country in the world, so thank you America for giving me liberty and justice for all. Lastly, I am thankful for a large family. Family is more than 5-10 people living in a house. When you experience family you touch the hearts of many people around you. Thank your families for giving you values to live by, and courage to grow up and be of some infuence to our nation. I remember veterans that have passed on, that would tell me, young man don't forget this country, and how we fought to make it free. Freedom does not come easily, and needs for all of us to committ to keeping her free. Blessings to you , Van
On this memorial day, I am thankful for our Country, our soldiers, and my family. Time has a way of slipping away when we do not say thanks enough.I did not join in any armed services, so thanks to all of the men and women who protect me every day. We still live in the best country in the world, so thank you America for giving me liberty and justice for all. Lastly, I am thankful for a large family. Family is more than 5-10 people living in a house. When you experience family you touch the hearts of many people around you. Thank your families for giving you values to live by, and courage to grow up and be of some infuence to our nation. I remember veterans that have passed on, that would tell me, young man don't forget this country, and how we fought to make it free. Freedom does not come easily, and needs for all of us to committ to keeping her free. Blessings to you , Van
Friday, May 22, 2009
When Life gives you a lemon
Hello again,
Recently things have not gone my way. I have had to make choices in order to keep going. Things will not always go your way. I have always tried to keep positive, and not let life get me down. With Bipolar disease things get a bit sticky. I may be feeling great one day, and the next day, feel like all hope is gone. Now I know that this is a mood swing, and that it will pass.
With a chemical imbalance you cannot turn on your brain to feel one way. It just seems to happen. I fill out a mood tracking chart, and it indicates where I am. Since April, I stay right around balanced which is very positive. I have to be as truthful as possible for it to work. Last year was a terrible year for me. August will be one year of stability.
Life has thrown me many lemons, but I choose to live beyond my problems. I need to dream again, set God's goals for my life, and laugh out loud. I am a musician, and I will start to play my music again. Music is a universal language . Singing is a way to set your soul free, so go ahead and sing, make music. Have a super day, Van
Recently things have not gone my way. I have had to make choices in order to keep going. Things will not always go your way. I have always tried to keep positive, and not let life get me down. With Bipolar disease things get a bit sticky. I may be feeling great one day, and the next day, feel like all hope is gone. Now I know that this is a mood swing, and that it will pass.
With a chemical imbalance you cannot turn on your brain to feel one way. It just seems to happen. I fill out a mood tracking chart, and it indicates where I am. Since April, I stay right around balanced which is very positive. I have to be as truthful as possible for it to work. Last year was a terrible year for me. August will be one year of stability.
Life has thrown me many lemons, but I choose to live beyond my problems. I need to dream again, set God's goals for my life, and laugh out loud. I am a musician, and I will start to play my music again. Music is a universal language . Singing is a way to set your soul free, so go ahead and sing, make music. Have a super day, Van
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Spring Time
Hi again,
I am writing to say that I love this time of the year. The birds are singing, the grass is so green, and thousands of people are outside doing yard work. All around me high school children are getting ready to graduate. This weekend starts the official season of summer time. I also remember all of the soldiers who have fought for me to bring America freedom. I will be flying my flag to honor them. This is Memorial day weekend. Take time to thank a veteran, or an older person who knows the price paid during the wars . I do love America .
On a personal note I wish to thank my family for always being there for me. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disease two years ago, and have had some serious struggles. I am on medications that help me to stay stable , and I need to have a very regimented schedule. I have found a few good Bipolar sites with chat rooms that help me to understand my illness a little bit better. I still have mood swings , and at times wish to stop taking my meds, but in all, I am doing well. Thanks to my psychiatrist, and therapist for working with me, I believe that I am doing the best for at least two years.
In closing, I am thankful for my church that is willing to help me, and be my friend. I work part time, and get to work with a lot of people making phone calls, and visits. Life is very good right now, and I am beginning to see the good in everything. Remember this spring to see the new growth and life all around you. You have the opportunity to help many people. Until the next time, be blessed. Van
I am writing to say that I love this time of the year. The birds are singing, the grass is so green, and thousands of people are outside doing yard work. All around me high school children are getting ready to graduate. This weekend starts the official season of summer time. I also remember all of the soldiers who have fought for me to bring America freedom. I will be flying my flag to honor them. This is Memorial day weekend. Take time to thank a veteran, or an older person who knows the price paid during the wars . I do love America .
On a personal note I wish to thank my family for always being there for me. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disease two years ago, and have had some serious struggles. I am on medications that help me to stay stable , and I need to have a very regimented schedule. I have found a few good Bipolar sites with chat rooms that help me to understand my illness a little bit better. I still have mood swings , and at times wish to stop taking my meds, but in all, I am doing well. Thanks to my psychiatrist, and therapist for working with me, I believe that I am doing the best for at least two years.
In closing, I am thankful for my church that is willing to help me, and be my friend. I work part time, and get to work with a lot of people making phone calls, and visits. Life is very good right now, and I am beginning to see the good in everything. Remember this spring to see the new growth and life all around you. You have the opportunity to help many people. Until the next time, be blessed. Van
Saturday, May 16, 2009
First try at a blog
Hi,
My name is Van, and I have a lot of stories to tell you all. This is a lttle bit about me, and this is my first blog. I am married, with three children. I have been a pastor since 1978, and have traveled all over the world. My favorite trip was to India, when two of us went to minister to pastors.We had the chance to go and speak to lepers in a colony. India is a very poor country, and very rich in culture. I look forward to telling you more of my adventures.
I do not type very well, and I am not a writer, so bear with me. I look forward to hearing your stories. I love life, love people, and love my Lord. For most of us, time flies by. I have learned to slow down and enjoy life. I take walks in the back yard, sing, and call my best friends on the phone. I am a happy camper. Have a great day.
My name is Van, and I have a lot of stories to tell you all. This is a lttle bit about me, and this is my first blog. I am married, with three children. I have been a pastor since 1978, and have traveled all over the world. My favorite trip was to India, when two of us went to minister to pastors.We had the chance to go and speak to lepers in a colony. India is a very poor country, and very rich in culture. I look forward to telling you more of my adventures.
I do not type very well, and I am not a writer, so bear with me. I look forward to hearing your stories. I love life, love people, and love my Lord. For most of us, time flies by. I have learned to slow down and enjoy life. I take walks in the back yard, sing, and call my best friends on the phone. I am a happy camper. Have a great day.
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