What Bipolar illness means to me!

I wish to share my three years of Bipolar illness. I wish to share what Bipolar is to me, my attitudes, my acceptance, and my fears, and mood swings, and my happy days. Bipolar illness is a mental disorder characterized by episodes of mania and depression. The true name for Bipolar is Manic Depressive illness. To me it is a series of ups and downs where I slide in and out of mind games. I have a very hard time accepting this illness. I feel good most of the time. I now know that I feel good because of the medicine. I take lithium, trileptal, abilify, atarax, and seroquel when needed. I get manic, and I get depressed. The lithium helps me to stay stable.
So, what is a "normal" person with Bipolar Disorder? An individual who has accepted that he/she has a major mental disorder has taken the first big step. Acceptance of Bipolar Disorder comes through education, reading, and understanding his/her own symptoms, knowledge of his/her triggers and more. Acceptance comes through support, feedback and advice not just from professionals but by other individuals who share bipolar disorder. Acceptance of Bipolar Disorder means knowing that you have a mental illness, not that you are a mental illness. Acceptance means the ability to live, love and carry on with your life. My attitude changed when I changed my acceptance levels toward the illness. Today I have a better attitude.
Now on to my fears. When I came out of the hospital, I was so full of fear that I could not stay by myself. Thank God for friends that let me come over and spend a few nights. Today I still have a few fears, but mostly normal fears. I am not afraid of the illness, and I will not allow the fears that come with the illness overtake me.
I will now talk about mood swings. The best diagnosis is a stable person. When I have a mood swing, I go from normal to depression, or normal to mania, or a mixed state which is which is both depressive and manic. I still have mood swings, and these can make our home a very hard place to find peace.I can yell, scream, insist my way, or just get blue all in a day.These mood swings are serious, but can be helped by getting good sleep, eating good, stay away from drugs and alcohol, and hang around good positive people. My mood swings are so much better today. I have learned to be a happy person with a illness. I have accepted my illness. and take the challenge to help those around me with the bipolar illness. Have a great summer.